30 March 2013

Reasons Why You are still Single: Myths and Solutions

I think this topic describes quite appropriate to most of people in my cycle. Most of them are smart, no bad looking, friendly, good career etc. However, most of them are still single. WHY? Why these kind of people who accumulate the so-called good "criteria" are still single? Yet, other people who might not have these "demanded" criteria are already engaged, married or even having few children.
I had tried to figure out ways to identify the potential solution so that my friends will eventually find their Mr./Miss Right. Last night, an crystal clear idea appeared on my mind while I was falling in sleep. Immediately, I used all my energy to wake my body up and picked up a pen to jot down this idea to explain this "popular phenomena" in my life. There are three main reasons why you are still Single.

Take Care Other People Opinion Too Much

Frankly speaking, how many of you will insist your choice even though all people around you give you opposite view about it. However, we should bear in mind that our Mr/Miss Right is for only a very special person, that is, his / her Miss / Mr Right. After all, we all human being are individually special. And our ultimate goal to find our Mr / Miss Right is to reach the ultimate happiness, the happiness for both people, instead of all people around the world.
Based on my experience, no matter what you do, there MUST be somebody disagree and oppose with you. It is, in fact, a very healthy and normal situation. For example, can you imagine that all the people around you were falling in love with just a particular person?
I have managed my relationship for more than eight years. I simply do not care so much about other people views. Because in our relationship, only two of us. We try to make one another happy instead of ALL people around us happy.

Having Too Many Ideal Demands / Checklist

Remember, we are human being instead of ROBOT. Only Robot thinks logically all the time. Each of us has emotion. Each of us tends to do something illogically. Yes, we do have some checklist that safeguard our interest and protect our self. For instance, criteria such as finding someone with good characteristic, behaviour, and habit are vital. These criteria is not nature but nurtured. These criteria do not appear in few days but years. These criteria also show the sustainability of a relationship.
If you fall in love in someone because his / her appearance, unless you are very lucky, the chance to sustain the relationship is very low. This is because his / her appearance can be simply due to one-off make-up or age. Without other sustain reasons, nobody finds good reason to maintain it forever.
Thus, instead of using your ideal checklist, why don't try to list out few vital criteria first and then identify potential future partner.

Fear of Failure

Fear is one of the useful characteristic of human being. Because we fear of fail, then the FEAR motivate us to try our best to optimise the chance of success. In a relationship, one thing that is very sure is: if you did not try, then failure would be your only destination. Guess what, there are two actions and destination:
1. If you did not try it: Yes, you had successfully avoided the failure to be rejected; Yet, you were also destined to be alone forever.
2. If you tried it: Yes, you exposed yourself to be rejected; Yet, you have chances to reach your ultimate happiness. 
"If you did not try, then failure would be your only destination"
No pain, no gain. Your life is monitored and controlled by yourself. If you do not dare / do not have this little courage to take such risk, I hardly to imagine someone will keen to be your partner. Be brave and be responsible; and take action today. That's all for today. More fascinating articles and sharing will be updated from time to time in Xaivier Blog. So, you are welcome to subscribe our feed, look at our sitemap or simply visit our Homepage for latest sharing.

Written by: Xaivier Chia

(P/S: The above sharing is solely based on personal insight. Please do not take it seriously. However, your valuable feedback are very welcome.)


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